Friday, February 11, 2011

ache

I'm not one to indulge in could-have-been's, but on days like these I think maybe I ought to. If only just to force me to acknowledge the depth of my own cowardice and how much I've managed to let slip by me, and maybe, just maybe, the intensity of my regrets will carry through to the next crossroads and remind me to tread bravely.

Keep heart.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

mini updates

Flu. Sick meh. Only after the major new year celebrations, thankfully; I'm not missing out on much now. Contracted it from my dear visiting brother who I'd been cooped up in the same room with for a week, I bet >_>

Dance. Even brief hiatuses do me in completely :( as evidenced by my post-CNY break noobness. My resolution for this year is to get a bit more involved in the social dance scene in Perth (among other Things roar). Somehow.

Wait. This summer break is getting to be too long. Maybe it's because everyone's leaving/left and so I have nothing to distract me from my growing anxiety for the coming semester. Maybe I shouldn't have quit my job, but I felt like I really needed a breather before I jumped back into the academic grind. I hate waiting, but this wait is probably necessary :/

Jaran. It's not science fiction, disappointingly. But it was an intriguing enough story to keep me going. I loved the worldbuilding (on the micro-culture scale anyway, there is barely anything on its sci-fi outline), even if the society the author created sounds a mite too utopian for me. Would twisting gender dynamics by making women the sexual initiators and men the recipients remove sexual violence from the picture completely? I find that curious. I don't know if the author meant to suggest that, or if she simply didn't bother to examine the implications of it.

Additionally, it seemed that 'sexual aggressiveness' was really limited to issuing invitations (that is up to the man to accept), which is kind of already done in our male-aggressor culture even among females, albeit with negative labels. I wonder that women, given the power and encouraged to openly solicit men in society, would not take advantage of it, as imbalanced power structures often tempt people to. I wonder that the issue of sexual violence is never raised, as if it would never occur, by dint of men's generally superior physical strength (despite the fact that in this society they are prohibited from using violence on women, thereby conferring some sort of immunity on them?). The author tries to balance the stakes by giving men the absolute choice in marriage, which also gives them the right to act similarly to our own earthly gender dynamics, but I never felt it was much of a fair trade.

Also, human nature? I find it unbelievable that a society that condones casual pre-(and post-) marital sex would not have any venereal diseases or illegitimacy issues to deal with, even with contraception being practised regularly. Accidents happen. And the taboo with orphans was never really explained; I can only assume it comes from an aversion to tragedy.

Maybe I'm being too egalitarian for my own good, because I actually quite liked the book, so long as one does not expect too much from the romance. I'm feeling torn about continuing the series. On one hand, I would like to know what happens next, on the other, I'm not sure I want to invest more time and emotion in a hanging, incomplete story that likely won't ever be finished.

Er okay so my mini update post somehow led to impromptu book musings. These things happen :D