Friday, November 20, 2009
1. the same old antique living room set I've lived with for more than a decade PLEASE can we have something soft and squishy D:
2. my bathroom door missing a doorknob. There is now a piece of cardboard covering up the gaping hole where it used to be and a piece of string looped through it to act as a substitute*. Resourcefulness, thy family name is Chan.
3. the post-it note I stuck to the bathroom mirror saying 'put the toothpaste cap back on!' still there :)
4. barely-there shower sprays and no hot water yay
5. a leaking sink that splashes your feet with the contents of your gargling.
...glad to be home, really. Still, as tired as I am of moving, it's probably a good thing that we are, soon. SQUISHY SOFAS MOOOM
*This is the third doorknob my family has destroyed.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I bought this shirt last year thinking it was cute. I'm not so sure now. Bryan was a little offended back when I got it, and I remember brushing it off thinking 'he's just being sensitive' (sorry Bryan). But I imagine if it said GIRLS MAKE GREAT ACCESSORIES instead I would've totally flipped my lid.
I'm not going to justify my double standard, but I think most people would have reacted the way I did. Not to say it's right. But then, women have had a long, long history of being treated exactly just like that, so much so that the idea of someone taking a statement like GIRLS MAKE GREAT ACCESSORIES seriously is actually quite plausible, and hence a hot button. Of course, some women can be and have been guilty of the same - namely treating men as objects, but it isn't at all the same as the systematic oppression of women through the ages. Men have never been at risk of having their entire sex treated (in every way that counts) as less than human by the fairer sex, and really, in their position of privilege and power and all, the idea of men being mere accessories is, well, ludicrous.
I just realized I'm trying to explain a stupid t-shirt. Who the hell analyzes the shit out of a joke?
My point is, I worried it was sexist, but it isn't. It's not the same because it isn't even an existing male stereotype of guys=accessories. If anything it's a tongue-in-cheek twist on the girls=accessories stereotype (which diddoes exist). But I honestly doubt it's seen as that. More likely it's just a form of retaliation along the lines of 'objectify me, will you? back atcha!', which doesn't get us anywhere if we're talking about combating sexism seriously.
So...title subject. Men are friends, not food. Guys, I don't think of you as accessories. Really. Out of deference to the amazing guys in my life, good bye t-shirt.
Blah blah blah zzzsexism zzzcourtesy zz...fuck it. It's too earlylate for sleep-deprived me to do this better. Any t-shirt joke that needs a whole blogpost to clarify it isn't worth it and/or very funny anyway.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Now my mom is a product of her upbringing and the conservative mindset of her generation (i.e. sex = taboo subject). Sex is not something we’ve discussed openly. But from the sheer number of those books in my house and after knowing first-hand how racy they can get, I kind of deduced that she must like reading them, and by extension, the sex too.
My mom, the sexually conservative by day, kinky liberal by…er, the reading nightlight! Very cool.
I didn’t like romance much, because I hadn’t read very many good ones (hatefuck is not a good way to introduce sex to a young girl). It’s only recently that I’ve come to terms with my guilty pleasure (finding a lot of pretty good ones helped), and I thought, well, at least that’s one thing we have in common.
So the other day, I was on Skype with my dear mother, who excitedly told me about some new books she bought – Sidney Sheldon and Nora Roberts. I was excited too, because she hadn’t been reading for years (coincidentally, since the onset of my adolescence), and this was the woman from whom I learned to read. We could get back on the same wavelength! Plus, sex and romance novels didn’t embarrass me anymore! Yeah okay, thriller/suspense is not my preference, but who cares, she was reading! And then,
‘I really, really like Sidney Sheldon! Not like Nora Roberts, with all the seXxx’ (Yes emphasis on the X, she says it funny)
:O :O :O
‘They’re not the same genre mom, you can’t compare them like that! …and you don’t like the sex scenes? Really?’ (Mind you, Nora Roberts is nowhere near explicit in Romancelandia)
‘Well no, not really’
‘But but but you’ve been reading them all these years! What do you do, skip them?’
‘Yeah, kind of’
(See, that has a distinctly less appealing ring to it. Though the acronym is alright I suppose. SSS!)
Don't ask me why she read so many of something she apparently dislikes. I'm still convinced decades of reading romance will inure anyone to it. She could be fibbing. IT'S OKAY MOM YOU CAN TELL ME
Friday, August 28, 2009
Yay for series of coincidences leading up to such perfect timing. I feel almost ready to jump back into said cesspit again :)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
One day there won't be a next. Listening, feeling, waiting in that split second between heartbeats doesn't reaffirm life for me. I'm too busy being reminded of our mortality, of the next that won't come, and it scares the living daylights out of me.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Our Not So Secret Lives is a semi-fictional (I think) blog, whose link I got from Sara, about four teenagers(?) on life, love and sex. The site has a disclaimer saying the 'characters and events have been dramatised, but the issues are real'. As far as I can see, that could mean anything from artistic license on the storytelling to a complete fabrication of details. The entries cover only the month of February in which drama unfolds, following which they hold a blogging contest for people to draft the 'ending' of the story. Forgive me if I highly doubt the authenticity of everything in it after that O.o
But I don't care about that. The posts are witty; the layout and the graphics pretty and pleasing to the eye. All said and done, it was an entertaining read.
On the whole however, some things grated on me. Spoilers below, don't go further if you want to read the blog for yourself.
I think it's safe to say, taking into account the semi-fiction and dramatisation, that this blog means to tell a story. A story with moral lessons. Jesse and Ellie are best friends even though they are polar opposites. It doesn't take a genius to realize that they have been paralleled with each other for their differing views on sex and life in general: conservative and liberal. The issue addressed being repercussions in the form of HIV.
So one day, Ellie with the active sex life receives a phone call telling her that her ex is HIV-positive. She then has to wait out a whole month to get tested, and her fate is at the whims of the contestant blogging the 'ending'. Cue the agony and pseudo-philosophical reflections, courtesy of Jesse. Only two of the four blog - the two being the chaste couple Jesse and Trey - although it also chronicles Ellie's HIV ordeal and her rocky relationship with Cameron (the fourth dude).
Okay, I get that HIV is very real and very serious. I know it is The issue the creators of the blog were trying to introduce, but I just didn't like the way it was presented. Call them pet peeves if you will, but it ruined the whole thing for me.
1. Ellie, in her video profile, shamelessly and haughtily proclaims to have liberal views about sex. And really, they're not even all that radical. Sex is fun. Girls can enjoy sex. Guys talk about it all the time, girls can too. It all sounds good and pretty vanilla to me. So how the hell does all that translate to promiscuity? Because that was definitely what Trey's (and possibly even Jesse's) thoughts hinted at. From what I can gauge, she was sexually active yes, but she had regular boyfriends, which probably meant she had sex with her boyfriends (only?). Far from the casual hook-up with strangers her behaviour was being amounted to. Moral panic much?
2. When she finds out she might have gotten HIV from her ex , her boyfriend Cameron rages at her, seemingly not because she might have transmitted it to him, but because she had the nerve to get it (I assume he's well-aware of her views on sex). He calls slut. I call wtf? Cameron's response to the news was nothing short of hypocritical (assuming he was sexually active as well) and callous, yet it was all taken in stride, as if he had the right of it. Talk about condoning slut-shaming.
3. Trey admits to having less-than-sympathetic thoughts about Ellie's predicament, hinting that she may have deserved it for all her 'Beverley Hills lifestyle'. Harsh and possibly true, but this just takes the cake. It puts his prejudiced views into perspective, and it's really jarring how it appears that Ellie is the only one being blamed here (and in all his posts). No mention of her irresponsible ex. No mention of Cameron's presumably equally active sex life. Way to prove a double standard.
All those underlying stereotypes and double standards are only hinted at, but they are confirmed in the blog's choice of 'ending' to the story. In fact, the direction that Our Not So Secret Lives was intending to take couldn't be clearer from it. The winning blog entry completely sums up what they were trying to say, in less witty prose: No Ellie doesn't have HIV, but she reforms - no more 'casual unprotected sex' and 'wild sexcapades' she says!
Funny how I haven't seen any reference to said sexcapades in the previous entries, but since they did pick the entry, I suppose it must be congruent with their own idea of Ellie The Slut. The blog has managed to shy away from calling her one outright so far, but they don't deny the impression it has given readers, because it's evidently what they meant all along. Meanwhile Jesse says, 'I am a virgin and proud of it! Not many people can say that nowadays.' Because yknow, virginity is a commodity.
4. They appear to advocate safe sex in words, but there is no discussion or mention whatsoever of Ellie's sexual practices. We are not privy to whether she has been safe, or even if she has been indiscriminate in her choice of partners, only that she is having sex. That pretty much rounds up what the issue here is, doesn't it? She's having sex, that's obviously the problem.
There's no question that the real message here is abstinence. Oh come on, juxtaposing sweet, virginal Jesse who gets her guy with highly-sexual Ellie who risks HIV and loses her guy (in the chosen ending)? Rather akin to hitting me over the head with a sledgehammer, I think. The whole pleasure-has-consequences and HIV issues examined here are directed to girls, and it shows. Isn't it interesting how abstinence is always associated with girls? That the views being examined here are female-centric? What I would give for a male perspective...
I'm not even saying 'save yourself for marriage' because there's no mention about that here, only an overwhelming feeling of Sex Can't Result In Anything Good. It's good that they're bringing up the issue of HIV and how it may very well pervade our normal, it-won't-happen-to-me lives. I just think they could've handled it better than plain ol' 'Girls, don't have sex'.
Edit: There was quite a bit of a lag between my reading the blog and my writing this post (which I did off the top of my head), so it is possible that I may have gotten some facts wrong. If you've read it and noticed any, do comment and let me know :)
Sunday, June 07, 2009
The first time for a girl will probably not be all that pleasant; highly unlikely in fact. I just don't see any way around it, unless the guy's like...the lover of all lovers or something (sex slave! rawr). So you ask, what's in it for us? My answer: the sense of deep connection and intimacy inherent in the act itself. In other words, the girl will need to at least have some degree of affection for the guy (or have a damned good lover) to make it palatable. Admittedly good firsts are not necessary for her to eventually come to enjoy sex, but they're still a wall to punch through.
What I mean is, everyone knows sex doesn't equate to love. Still, it's easier for guys to indulge in that philosophy, because it's easier for them to enjoy it. Oh I imagine foreplay will be lots of fun, but the actual penetration... Unless it feels good, or the guy is caring or cared for, I can't see how she'll come out of it feeling it was worthwhile (in more ways than one).You can see where I'm going here. I'm not saying all girls should do it with someone they love, just rationalizing away one of the reasons why it might seem that girls tend to be touchy-feely about sex.
And when I put it that way, it seems more practical than foolish sentiment, no?
But then I realize I know very little on this subject anyway. Perhaps the girl experiments and knows her own body well enough to achieve orgasm without significant help from said guy (for their first time). Then it's a different matter from there.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I'm just rearranging my thoughts (and conversations) into a readable format. This will probably make for dry reading, so pardon in advance :p
point to clarify:
1. I consider myself a feminist. Sorry if that was vague in the previous post. I realize I come off as reluctant to admit that sometimes. That is not due to shame of being one, but the shame of feeling like I don't do enough to deserve being called one. But like Young said, it's a principle, and I may not be an activist or doing anything significant to help women, but I am still a feminist.
On to misconceptions.
I don't know if most of you admit to this, but the general idea I get from your dismissive responses is that:
feminists = man-hating female supremacist
Okay...I wonder what that says about what you people think of me =.= But in the interest of maintaining cordial relations *ahem* I shall assume that you do not have that impression of me. Logically, from that you should realize then that it is not true. That if I contest that image, surely there's something wrong with it. I'm not likely to contest it just for the heck of it. Hell, the whole definition of the ideology itself doesn't advocate female superiority. Anyone who tells you that it does is wrong. That there may be people like that who call themselves feminists, doesn't make it feminism.
It's not "extreme feminism". It's not feminism, period.
Next: feminism isn't needed anymore.
Men and women are equals. Women should be entitled to the same opportunities as men. Those are pretty much the basic tenets. So when it's said that feminism isn't needed, it can be one of two things:
1. women shouldn't need to be entitled to the same opportunities.
2. women already have the same opportunities.
I'll go with 2, since 'anymore' should mean 1 isn't what you guys have in mind (hopefully).
So women are considered equal to men already? Really? Then why is there still gender discrimination in the workplace? Why aren't men and women getting equal pay? Why do women face more hassle/obstacles/stigma trying to acquire contraception? Why have I grown up being told not to swear, to smile (seriously when my brothers don't smile they're just being guys, when I don't I'm being sullen), not to xxx because I'm a girl? Don't bother telling me none of these stuff are true. And don't bother saying double standards are intrinsically human; we're better than that. We've gotten this far, we can go further.
Also, check out the male privilege checklist compiled by Ampersand. I'm not entirely sure about all of them, but most of it hits the spot. Andrea Rubenstein has external links to the issues. Ampersand:
Pointing out that men are privileged in no way denies that bad things happen to men. Being privileged does not mean men are given everything in life for free; being privileged does not mean that men do not work hard, do not suffer. In many cases - from a boy being bullied in school, to a soldier dying in war - the sexist society that maintains male privilege also does great harm to boys and men.I also quote Ampersand's reference to an essay by Peggy McIntosh:
In the end, however, it is men and not women who make the most money; men and not women who dominate the government and the corporate boards; men and not women who dominate virtually all of the most powerful positions of society. And it is women and not men who suffer the most from intimate violence and rape; who are the most likely to be poor; who are, on the whole, given the short end of patriarchy’s stick.
McIntosh observes that whites in the U.S. are “taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.”I believe it's the same thing with the denigration of women. Feminists don't only stand up to physically substantial threats (the abusive husband, the sexual harrasser at the workplace), they stand up to harmful ideas that society and the media perpetuate. It's about bringing light to issues that we would otherwise gloss over, them being so ingrained in society. But anyway, these people explain it better than I do. Andrea Rubenstein again, in case you missed it up there ;)
- Why do rapists use the excuse 'she led me on'? People are entitled to change their mind. Thinking it justifies rape suggests that they think those women owe them something. See the problem with that line of thought?
- Statistics vary from country to country, but generally more than 50% of rapists are known to their victims. For Australia, the stats given in my criminal law lectures show that only 17% of the rape cases were perpetrated by complete strangers. And those are only the ones that are reported. How much more likely are you to not report someone you know compared to a total stranger?
- There's something wrong here. Most of these cases aren't about strangers in dirty alleys treating a random unfortunate passerby as a sex object. A lot of them are men who know their victims as a person, have probably even conversed with them like a friend, sometimes in a position of trust...and these men have apparently given no thought to how they hurt them. Why is this? I don't really think it's such a stretch to suggest a relationship between violence against women (sexual or otherwise) and a perceived inferiority of the sex.
...wow it feels good letting all that out. When I should be doing my microecons. Shit. Anyway, this is messy and unedited at best, but I think it comes off best that way? Screw eloquence, this is how I feel: raw and passion and not without reason. Still, don't take the things I say here for granted. Go do a little googling of your own. I only hope I've managed to better explain why I am a feminist, in conjunction with the previous post.
Edit: random question - What would you think of a father who says he loves his wife more than his kids? Following that, what would you think of a mother who says she loves her husband more than her kids?
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I am woefully ignorant, but I do try. I scour feminist blogs and I read and read and read and my head spins and sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. But on the whole, this is what feminism screams to me: that you can be whatever you want to be. Screw gender roles, screw societal/media ideals; hell, screw other 'feminists' telling you what to do. Contrary to popular opinion, it isn't so self-absorbed as to completely ignore men either (but yes, most focus on females because well, there are a lot more issues for us). So guys, if you somewhat fit within the acceptable idea of male, good for you; if you don't...join the club. Not that you have to be a misfit to be a feminist, of course.
I think feminists approach issues that impede us in reaching that goal i.e. being whatever what we want to be. Most of us gloss over them in everyday life, the media, (I know I do) as an inevitable nuisance, and a lot think feminism isn't needed anymore (you've already got your vote, place in the workforce, and your liberal sex life - what more do you want?). In a lot of small ways and quite some big ones, it still is. I'll say this first, I can't answer why well enough; did try but I'm not so well-read or great in stringing my for-now-incoherent thoughts together. Will try again in the future ahaha. But if you are curious about what feminists gather to talk about other than plot Ze Downfall of Men, here. Or google; I'm sure you'll find something.
By the way, writing off feminism as a whole as two-faced is akin to assuming the whole organized religion represents the individual church/believer/whatever. I'm sure any of you who are believers of a particular faith have once upon a time writhed in agony over the antics of a supposed fellow believer. It shouldn't be too difficult to comprehend it might be the same for feminists too. Feminism is an ideology and duh, it's bound to have dissenting factions. The basic tenets are...arguably the same, but the different ways people go about putting it in action still invite criticisms from within and without. So don't be too quick to dismiss it. There is thinking and evolving and debating and people putting up with all the stigma because they believe that it's a worthy cause; that yes, you can be all you want to be.
I can certainly get behind something like that.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Julia Quinn: didn't like her as much as I expected to. Which is odd because I like her style, but I am just not engaging with her characters.
Loretta Chase: her I adore. And highly recommend for anyone who thinks to dip his/her toe in the pool of romance. She'll pull you under.
Gossip Girl: I seem to only be watching this for Chuck and Blair. Not Chuck or Blair mind, but Chuckandblair. Chuck is but a mere asshole by himself anyway.
That said, I must now venture back into reality before I go mad. Excessive high-strung melodrama eats my brain. But before that, more Sarah Haskins!
My gentle alpaca!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Now...a couple of links I want to share :D
Hilzoy on Why do they stay? gakked from Feministing.com
I'm not particularly passionate or mindful on the issue of abuse, just as I doubt most of you are. But this was just so well-written that it left me feeling a little more thoughtful about it. The article gives insight into why some women (and men. it's rather gender-neutral) might stay on in such situations. And as they say, forewarned is forearmed.
Candy Tan on the romance ghetto, gakked from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books
That's generally how I've been feeling XD For the last couple of years I've swung from ugh to hearts for this genre. Really, it's just a matter of sorting out the good from the bad.
'What gets to me is how pervasive the genre shame is, and how strong the assumption that if you read romance, you have to be one dumb broad. ... I used to think you'd have to be a moron to read and enjoy romance novels. I used to be the one who wanted to say to my sister "But you seem way too smart for these books." And god knows I still feel embarrassment squick for a lot of the covers.'
And by the same author, for those who think it's stupid.
Monday, April 20, 2009
12.30am: Oli: what page are you on now? Me: one :D AHAHAHA
2.21am: wtf am I doing on the onemanga site? NO BAD GIRL CLOSE NOW
2.30am: Chin is finished! >_>
3.15am: Oli is finished! >_>
6.30am: Uaaaagh only one more point to go! Oh shit I'm feeling nauseous, better go lie down for awhile...
9.30am: Hmm *yawn* I wonder what time ARGH OH SHIT so much for legal process (9-11am lecture) Why didn't Oli call me! Oh right phone is on silent mode.
11.00am: I am done! With an hour to spare! I'll just print it and go take a shower whee life is good. Dum deee duuum daaah~
11.20am: ....hey where's my assignment? NOOO WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PRINTER DD: *fiddles*
11.30am: !@#$%^&&^%$# PRINTER WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING ahhhh I'm sorry printer I didn't mean it T.T please please please work.
11.40am: To hell with dignity and sprint for the law library.
11.50am: The computer takes forever to log in! There are other law students around cursing! [Guy behind me at the printers, fidgeting: Sorry, my assignment's due at 12. Me: So is mine] Ahhh stapler, why dost thou conspireth against me!
11.56am: Assignment goes into box. My entire life seems to have culminated to this point. And yes, the past 12 hours warranted multiple exclamation marks.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
During the tenor/soprano duet, while I was walking down the aisle with the other ooh-aah-ers, Vanessa stepped on the back of my choir gown and...yeah. I choked up. On laughter. I laughed so hard after that I couldn't sing D:
But when I told Kim this, she said "Oh really? I just thought you were really, really happy to be singing."
...well I guess that works too.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
This is how Oliver and I wasted our break away:
"It looks like a plastic bag!"
This...reminds me of a condom.
Whee. I was surprised there weren't more people clamouring to play with it. Not that I'm complaining xD
Monday, April 06, 2009
On my current predicament:
Me: ...I've never even heard of cold sores! No one in Malaysia gets them!
Chin: Yes they do!
Me: O.O What?
Chin: There's KFC!
Chin: We do have coleslaw!
Me: COLD SORES NOT COLESLAW
Chin: Wth is that?
Me: *points* btw it's contagious.
Chin: *spends rest of the lecture holding notes up between us*
p.s. If anyone is so curious as to google up pictures, let me make it clear that I look nothing like them. Yet.
Friday, April 03, 2009
This is what got me through the night:
Nodame Cantabile :D
...and made me stay up even after I finished my assignment, way into the afternoon after which I couldn't wait to blog about it.
I heart Chiaki/Nodame relationship dynamics. What I absolutely adored, was how their relationship grew on me just as it grew on both of them (or maybe just Chiaki), rather than me having reader's omniscience. Because I went into this not really expecting much romance, or the kind I could appreciate anyway (Nodame was quite a presence to get used to), the fact that I did get it made it ten times better :DD
When I'm actually looking out for romance I tend to get very impatient with slow relationship progress (and a shortage of waffy scenes!), but this...this made me go aww over a hug. I do not normally get hyped up over hugs. I can get really picky with romance, so I love how their stories and interactions with each other drew me in enough to look past all that.
Still, a good romance on the side is not enough by itself to commend a show! The plot was nice (it certainly wasn't blah), and the secondary characters are well-developed enough for your pick of favourites xD I'm in love with the whole show.
I read a little of the manga awhile back but didn't get very far, though it did interest me enough to watch the live-action drama version. Now I'm wondering how different it is, and am thinking of going back to the manga (to draw comparisons maybe?). Whee. Hearts hearts hearts.
p.s. I am never going to start my assignment so late again.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The article itself doesn't go into it very deeply, but the debate is pretty fleshed-out in the comments (200++ of them! don't need to read Everything lol). Everyone's being really civil in their reponses xD
One of the (many) comments that struck me, by an alixana:
"The problem is, defining someone as "evil" is an othering action. It separates them from us. They're not part of the human race, they're not part of our society, they're EVIL and therefore their actions aren't anything worth analyzing in the context of our society. 'Cause if someone's evil, and is operating out of evilness, well, that's all the explanation there is for it, right? It's just something in them that we can't help. 'Cause it's scary to even admit for a second that we share something in common with these people.One of the things I take issue with in christian self-help literature (heck, the bible too) is the tendency to pigeonhole everything into black and white. Note that this is not necessarily related to the debate mentioned above (or my personal opinion about it, for that matter); it just reminded me of this. "Good" and "Evil" (or "Bad") are so simplistic they can't even begin to describe the immensity and complexity of what we're capable of. So yes, I do take exception to sayings like 'Selfish plans are made by selfish people. Good plans are made by good people.' What if I've done both?
But that's dangerous. Once you've cast them out, you do society a huge disservice. This is the chance to ask, "Why did they do this terrible thing? What about our world allowed this to happen? What can we do in the future to prevent it?" It's far safer to claim the Hitlers and the rapists and everyone else we'd rather push away so that we can understand them and understand how to stop others from becoming like them. "They're a bad person" might be comforting, but it just does not cut it if we want to make this world a better place."
Edit: The idea that christian values are just that - exclusively christian; that you have to be a christian to have those values. That's just so wrong, because I've met so many wonderful people who are non-christians and hold those values all the same. Maybe that isn't what was meant in the first place, fine; just be more careful with 'othering' gestures.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Ver` - and there, a way was opened in the red sea. says:
i'm like so lazy to go to school tomorrow ><
brendaaah (the big) says:
lol you don't have to
Ver` - and there, a way was opened in the red sea. says:
but Brenda's going
brendaaah (the big) says:
is that persuasive or binding
Ver` - and there, a way was opened in the red sea. says:
very very persuasive
and binding if everyone else is going except me
brendaaah (the big) says:
zomg law geekery
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I've always been in love with the idea of cross-dressing women who did it to shuck the gender roles of their day. This, it not being an idea anymore, is ten times better! :D Google if you want to know more.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
p.s. I still love you, don't forget to transfer money to my account :O
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Try it if you must
Colorgenics Number: 42537160
You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
For some time now it would seem that you have been frustrated and emotionally inhibited. The circumstances which appear to be beyond your control are making it very difficult for you to develop the detached emotional attitude that you seek.
As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.
Being afraid that you may be prevented from achieving your hopes and dreams is making you anxious and nervous. As a dreamer your ideas can at times move into the realm of fantasy and you could be following that so called illusive dream.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Well I don't want to sound all emo here, it's only been three days after all. I'm kind of missing my brother (will regret saying this) too. Guess you can't substitute one brother for another. Funny thing is, I thought I'd be over this monthly depression phase (yes I thought it was a phase ) now that other things are out of the way. Evidently I was wrong. This sucks.
But all is mostly good :D I have family to buffer me from outright loneliness and lovely friends who come online and a lack of significant difference in time zones to get in the way. Yay for the internet.
In other news, it is freaking Hot during the day here. I walk to uni and back and there is barely any shade in between T.T Just yesterday I forgot to bring out my key, and when I arrived home, no one was in. For a moment there, the thought that I'd have to wait in the heat for my brother to come back almost made me burst into tears. Thank god for unlocked side doors.
It's dry here; so dry my lips crack. But at the same time it's so hot I sweat anyway. And I don't sweat easily. At night, we switch on the air-conditioning because it doesn't get cool until way after midnight. Nevertheless my brother has somehow developed a sixth sense for when that happens (Scrooge instincts), and he never fails to get up at night to switch it off and open all the windows.
Really, there is nothing to talk about but the weather.
To end this on a mysterious note :P , today's the day I put my anxieties to rest. I hope.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
NEVER TAKE AIR ASIA FOR NIGHT FLIGHTS. So yes, I didn't sleep and stupid me being so gung-ho when I arrived in Perth, I said YES to shopping with my bro when I should've been sleeping. Busy day. My new place is...really nice actually :D yay and there's air-conditioning (though my bro's too stingy to use it).
And...boy I really suck at this. I'm tired and it's morning and cold and there's no hot water (wth) and so I will go distract myself with something else until it gets hot.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Once you've been tagged, you have to list down 16 random things, habits or goals about you. Lastly, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names, and why you chose them.
1. I am warmed by the idea that I have been tagged along with people who have deader blogs than mine.
2. I'm leaving for aussieland! Tomorrow night! Am quite unready.
3. I like myself better in short hair. Everyone agrees.
4. My phone is so ulu I have had a middle-aged auntie comment on it. I fail at being young.
5. The only thing that could absolutely crush me right now is finding out I'll be sharing a computer with my (other) brother in Perth, after having shared with my brother (i.e. fought tooth and nail to get an hour in) here in Malaysia for the past...oh, life maybe and so yeah, having one of my own would really, really help with maintaining harmonious relations with either sibling and I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS MOM.
6. I like green. Red too. Purple and grey. A little tired of brown at the moment. Orange is nice. I like colours.
7. I...own a pair of sunnies now! :D
8. My mom made me repack my clothes into her Tupperware™ containers. My luggage is now full of Tupperware™ full of clothes.
9. I'ma gonna miss my friends here :'(
10. I feel more than I think. Unfortunately.
11. My weight and height has remained unchanged since form 1, according to my high school PJK card. Well no actually according to my PJK card I have shrunk since form 1, but we all know how accurate those things are. I'm going with unchanging.
12. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I refuse to regret.
13. I feel an affinity with the guy who died first in The Mummy. The guy who dropped his glasses and stumbled around waiting to get his eyes gouged out by Imhotep. That scene haunts me. Bad eyesight is not something to be had in a horror movie.
14. I think it is very weird to describe someone's breath as delicious, vampire book or not. '...I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water.'
15. I believe in learning from past mistakes, and improving.
16. I currently have about 20 books lying around unwrapped and unread. Wonder if I'll manage to bring them with me. Darn bibliomanic tendencies.
Nobody. Or anybody who chances upon this. Because most people have already been tagged or have done it or don't read my blog. See, I even explain why.